A Revolution...

I just came to a realization of the way people work.. they way people use life as a crutch..
I was at a party with some band friends and someone said something to me about surviving an ordeal, I mouthed off something about yeah well been through hell in my younger days did things I wasn't proud of. She came back with a shurg and " I call that survivng" then today i was talking with a friend and it hit me..

Why do people say that line.. They say you survived...

But Don't we survive the ordeal when we are our bad situation? What happens when we get out and are in a better place are we still surviving? why? we are we surviving... shouldn't we be living and learning to heal all the way. shouldn't we stop.
When I think of Surviving I mean Doing everything necessary to KEEP you safe. No matter what the cost.
So what happens to us who are safe? who don't have to continute to do what is nessacry at any means, ie hide, or take the beatings or make sure things are done when told or to lie there while the man beats the hell out of you cause you know if you struggle it will be worse.
Do i have to hide anymore? Runaway? give up my body before they Take it from me? Let someone make me feel like an object? HELL NO! so why does it still feell like I am surviving and not livng my life and learning to heal fully? why is it that when I hear people say "It's called surving" it makes me mad...
I know i survived but when i was out of harms way what did i do? I continued to survive looked for the best option I could get. was it fair to those who loved me.. NO.. was it right for me to do it NO.. Then why the Fuck did it do it?

BECAUSE I WAS STILL SURVIVING!
I watch my sister heal and get better everyday and I know in my heart that if there was JUST ONE person that gave me what i gave her a safe place, support and understanding of why i feel the way i feel and learned to Set my boundaries I know that HALF the shit i did I probably would have never done it. I would have continued school... there are alot of things I would have done.

so .. we survive when we are in the bad Situations because we had to .. but in order for us to stop surviving and actually love life and heal we need to stop what we are doing stop using it as a Crutch, get off our asses and start learning to heal and LIVE LIFE!

I know that some of those who have been abused are out there and have survived and LIVED and learned to live and love again. But have you every thought about what would have happened if you had someone to guide you to help you and to show you OTHER then a spouse or a loved one? What would happen in just ONE Stranger showed you an ounce of Unconditional Love.. Not because that person has to, but because the understand.
Well i had that today.. I had a person that I know but is still a stranger, not judge me not criticize me, Not even a OMG really?
it was a simple "You have a past you did things wrong but that doesn't change the way I look at you. "
Not a You survived you did things you had to do... or a "can't believe you did that"
and you know what... It threw me for an absolute loop, it made me stop and think after the shock wore out.. you expect people to either tell it to you straight, pat your back and say it's okay and all that.. but to have someone say that.... it was like my world opened up again and things started to work.

Do you people out there SEE what an Impact you can make on just ONE person by NOT giving them a Pity party and of course at times Being straight forward harsh is needed but other times.. Unconditional love and nonjudement is more impacting when the person isn't looking can make a BIG difference..


Can i Just say WOW...
So POINT.... if you are OUT of the BAD LIFE THEN GET OFF YOUR FUCKING ASS AND START LIVING IT YOU DON'T HAVE TO SURVIVE ANYMORE THERE IS NO ONE TO HIDE FROM NO ONE BEATING YOU DOWN. FIND HELP AND SUPPORT OF THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT AND LEARN TO LIVE!