Shiny things Part 2...

It is human nature to want to have shiny things in your life... I want to make this clear, a shiny thing is something or someone who is there in your life as a temporary play thing or an ego booster... NOT someone that is meant to be there in your life to help you. Look there is a HUGE difference. I want you to know that. There are some people that are meant to be in your life and NOT as your Shiny thing. You need to know the difference before it is too late. If you treat them like a shiny thing then you will never know why there are there in your life...


There is a BIG difference between Shiny thing and fate of you meeting some one. YOU just need to see the difference there.

So back to my part deuce of this subject:

It is Human Nature to want something to make us feel better... women do it with men and men do it with both women ,as well as, with "toys". It is all part of that the human experience.
I can tell you in my experience that I was unable to tell the difference between the two and ended up hurting someone very badly or getting hurt myself. Due to one thing... Lack of Communication! Look here is the DOWN Right truth... Your shiny things can be anywhere from an affair, a new toy such as a motorcycle, a new person or someone who is seriously in need of materialistic property or advise that you can provide. But what if these "shiny" things are NOT supposed to be.. what if there are actually there to help you through your journey and to stay with you... MMMM did you ever think about that as well...

IF you haven't and you are the person that picked up a new shiny thing and didn't realize they were there for a reason.. well then you just missed out!

It is like this...Every brand new thing is a potential Shiny thing or a potential lasting relationship. It is up to the "picker" to decided what is what... and of course the Pickee has a say in it too.

Some one close to me got me really thinking about this and i wanted to explore my own life more in this... He told me that we are connected in a deep and lasting way. That we are meant to be in each others lives for a reason. WHICH i strongly agree and have the whole time. But it made me think about all the other people in my life that i treated like just another play thing or just another new shiny thing.

And i finally figured it out... How to tell the difference... It is those that you are open with and honest with, the like minds that challenge you and encourage you to be you as well as encourage you to be yourself with your life mate as well as yourself. These are the people that are NOT meant to be your shiny things, these are the people who are meant to be in your life.

So in the here and NOW I am here to apologize to all that i have treated as a shiny thing.. and Thank all those who are MEANT to be in my life... I am open to hear you and to grow.

Here is my over all point in ... We all need to know the differnce of things in our lives to be open to new challenges and not be afraid to let the REAL and LASTING relationships in! We need to step oyt of the situtaion and see what is really in front of you and not just move on to the next thing after it loosing the luster. It is when you can make it past the newness of life and love that you will begin to see that just becuase it isn't new doesn't mean you can keep it shiny.

IF the polish doesn't work anymore don't just leave the silver in the draw.. try a new polish with the same silver... YOU GET IT NOW!!!!!!


So thank you to those of you who have shown me the difference in in all and opened my eyes to new things. And thank you to my husband who has stuck through all my shiny things and been my one constant in my life. Without all of you I would not be challeged to grow.

A

If Life Gives...

What happens to most of us when life gives...

That's right, Life. What is it? What happens to it? What happens to you when life happens?

You know we all let the daily grind of life happen to us. We all get into the "Groove" of life and then feel stuck. Yes, the day-in day-out things called Responsibilities happen to us all. Oh yes even me...I am not excluded from that. Recently a reflection of life has shown me that all you can do is push through the daily grind of life and remember why you are there in the first place.

Yes that is right.. Can you REMEMBER WHY? Yes I asked it.. you know I will because I want you to think . I want you to see why you are there in the first place. Is it because of Love, children, family, a husband or a wife, a mother, a father or a friend.

Who is your WHY?

Just because the person doesn't give you things or takes you places doesn't mean that they don't love you. I mean your there for a reason right... They should be your TRUE WHY! Unconditionally and total being is what is really happening here. Not selfish but selfless. Do you see the pattern here.. Oh come on do i HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT! Fuck.. Look if you can see it read on if not that read this: LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL, never taking, never giving but always both. Not Selfish but selfless.

Now here is where it gets difficult.. When one person "LOVES" another and it SHOULD BE Unconditional... and when i say LOVE i mean ALL LEVELS!
Yes that's right folks you can be taught!
The problem at hand is that we FORGET THIS! YES that is right with all the shit we DO on a daily basis, whether it be jobs, family or kids or pets or parents. We forget our WHY...

Tell me this when is the last time you said to yourself why am i here? Why do i get up in the morning? why do i work my ass off? why do i take care of the things needed? Why am i protective?

There should be only one answer to that question... ONE not anything else...
Come one i know you know it.. DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT! ALL right you asked for it.

LOVE... Is why we are here...

Yeah yeah I hear it now.. BUT BUT I don't have anyone to love.. I am alone and single. Oh wait .. here it comes... "But I don't love him/her anymore"

Listen i have heard it all before honestly i have. I am here to tell you... YOU do love someone.. YOUR NOT ALONE. If you think that way then you need to sit and look a deep LONG look in the mirror and STILL ASK WHY!

Falling in and out of love is like saying I am tired of my job. LOOK here is the thing... ask your self WHY.. WHY was I there in the first place.

If you really don't know then maybe you should really truly reflect on you and see if life got in the way.

Life, jobs, family, changes can all get in the way or seeing what is really there. This is hard for some of you all to see but it does happen. We don't take the time out of our daily grind to appreciate or to see the WHY.

Yeah yeah i know relationships come and go.. but the one thing never changes... is the original question of why! and I didn't say the answer of WHY it is the QUESTION OF WHY....

How much more can i say it.. Life gets in the way of the WHY.
Now before you all go and say well I should just get rid of life.. then you should know that life has to be there. It has to or we don't learn, love and play... and i mean play hard in your beds rocking the shit out of each other..*winks* Oh come on i wouldn't be me if i didn't say it... LMAO!

So now you tell me...

WHY?!?

Open Love

Open and bare
I see you there
I have no where left to go
I show you me, the real me
I let you in and show you my sin
Confessions are left behind

You see me
Only me... not others
Comfort in us to show the world
Has made a difference in me

With all of our love
A passionate love
We have come back here to find

You amaze me
You show me now that love is not hard to find

Embrace me now and forever
Come to me and hold me tight not ever letting me go

I show you me, the real me
Open, bare and not hard to find.

We may never forget that life will get in the way
we must push it through
We must love and be
Our best to show ...
Our worse to show
But never hide again.

You have me now...
All of me now...
Nothing left to bare...

I love you

Someone like you/like me

Confident to one, Let go to another
How to justify my feelings for you
You broke me down
And now all that is left is me

Two Different worlds to collide
Clash like an angry tidal wave
Who are you the rock or the wave

Beaten down, Worn over time
Were only my insides remain
How could I let this be
With someone like you, Someone like me

Alone in a Meadow
Only to face what is real
And what was left behind
Only to find it was me
That was left to stand

Broken down, Worn over time
Were only my insides remain
How could i let this Be
Someone like you, Someone like me

As I look in the mirror
A reflection shows only me
Raw, torn, and left broken inside

I was torn down by you
Suppressed by you

Now To build me up now
Now To put new skin on
To show the true and real me

Shiny things

Shiny Things...What are they and how long do you hold on to them?

Are you that shiny thing? That bright and new shiny thing that someone picks up plays with and then finds something new to play with leaving you in the back corner or on the dirty old shelf till they are ready to even look at you again...

Or ....

Are you that person that picks the shiny thing up to play with, then gets tired of it and throws it away...

Yeah well shiny things are people too, you know, with feelings that will and can leap off the shelf never to be seen again. Only to peek back in every once in a while to say hi or to get put back on the shelf.

MMMM i wonder which i am? Do i pick up the shiny thing or am i the shiny thing ... IN my opinion i am both.. yes that is right i do both... but more over we all do it.. Oh come on don't tell me you have never gotten tired of someone or something and slowly backed away from them because they didn't "excite" you anymore or the person that gets replaced but something more exciting...

Now Come on and look at your life. Are you tired of being the shiny thing or picking it up? Take a step back and look... I mean really look! Is it the same thing over and over again. Do you continuously do it again and again?

Wait... is this a cycle? Is there something we need to learn?
Why is it the shiny thing that gets broken every time someone picks it up.

Now wait...

In a physiological point of view one would say that I am broken or not wanting to play the social game of life Or MAYBE when I do open my heart up thinking that person wont hurt me ... I open up all the way. Sure that must be it.. BUT I DON'T OPEN MY HEART .... My heart has been closed to the outside world for MANY years or should say a few decades. It takes A LOT for me to open up to someone. Yeah sure i will gladly tell you about the factual events of my life or be blunt about things... BUT I don't SHARE my true feelings with just ANYONE. Do you think that you can just say hi to me and i will cry on your shoulder... NO! Yes i get pissed about things but you may never know the REAL reason WHY I am pissed. Oh Hell some days i don't even know that one! Does that means that i am like every other typical female out there.. I am like a delicate rose with many layers to go through to get to my core. Yeah yeah.. I said Delicate.. whatever FUCK OFF!

So how in the world can this be. I have always put my defenses up to everyone and that does include my husband.. Hell poor guy it took him 6 years just to see the "core" of me. Before i Truly let him in. However their is a side of me that Protects me at all times. Yeah that's right fuckers.. it is the BITCH in me. The Raving bitch that will have NO problem Ripping you a new asshole or tell you exactly how i feel in some way or another. I believe i like that side of me but it has it's purposes.

I Do "express" myself in many ways but to show you the real me let you in that is a bird of a different feather. So DO count your self lucky if i do let you see that. However there is another side to that... and that it is simple if you DO see that side then i DO entrust you with it.. NOT to fucking hurt me.

Yeah this is me... love me or not

I am selfless but i am Selfish too...
I see what you see and more
I watch and listen to what is really there ...

I don't endure pain of the heart very well never have...
I just analytically laid myself out there for you to see why i do what i do... So did I just answer my own question for you?


Yeah, yeah I hear it now, YOU say, what questions?... RIGHT?!? Well fuckers that means you weren't READING what i said... so now i will tell you ... GO BACK AND READ IT AGAIN!!!!

My Point here being is that even all the shiny things in the world could possibly be a human being... it is the "newness" of something that gets you excited to the point where you get so attached that you end up hurting that person. If everyone was honest and open about things it WOULD make things SO much easier.

You know like this... Person: Hi my name is _____ and you are my shiny thing! Do you mind? Shiny thing: Hi _____ sure i don't mind being your temporary ego boost in your life to help lift you up and use me up then discard me like i was never there!! I would love to....

Now come on doesn't that sound like fun!

Now there is another side to this as well ,of course there is.. Everything has another side. Um hello ... if there wasn't another side to things life would be boring, now wouldn't it! There are many people out there that don't understand that they are doing this. Picking up the shiny thing , toying with them then discarding them out the window. Now the person that picked up the shiny thing, the Picker, has a new and shiny toy as well as a refreshed ego! Wow... yes that is right folks the picker feels all good and shiny and wow new inside all because of the shiny toy.

But...

Then you have the shiny thing, the pickee, the person that admires the picker and boost their ego as well..but in the mean time you crave the part where the picker puts you down and leaves you be. Why? Because you WANT to keep yourself DOWN!

However the intriguing commonality of both is that the low-self esteem or moments of wanting enables us to continue to allow this cycle to continue.. OH come on even i get depressed!!!!

How can we stop the vicious cycle of continuing to try to boost their ego or to continue to keep yourself down... Simple ... Watch, Look and listen! Yes that is right... Watch and look at your life then listen to what is really going on in your life!

Now IF you say OH i don't do that... let me just say ONE thing.... BULLSHIT! Look again you do, do it. Everyone does.. NO one is excluded from it.. at one point in our lives we are one or the other or both!

However, you can look and realize what you are and stop the cycle before on both ends...

Remember Shiny things are people too!

Dynamics of Life

Throughout our life we come across people who are intended to be there in certain ways. At first you may never see it happening.. you may not understand why but it is there within the course of the friendship/relationship you are building something there.. trust, respect among other things feelings or emotions that can evolve if you let them. In many times the emotional attachment to the said person changes without you knowing it.. with just a sentence, a word or even an event. I do believe that people are suppose to be in your life for reason and that the emotions are there to help in your journey to learn as well as to see the sacrifice in which the other person selflessly gives and takes. Now there are some people in our lives who were honestly set in your way as a way to teach us what we should and shouldn't do. However these people can and will be a damage to yourself if you let them.

The great things about life is that it is always changing... friendships, partners children, family. It the constant change which i expect to happen. I may not like how somethings change, i may fight against it with everything i am... and i have learned that it just makes things worse. It doesn't allow me to embrace the change and the new dynamic of the relationship.

Now there is something that i find funny... MEN don't like change... but it is men who create the change most of all. In my experience it is the men that change the dynamics of a relationship. Now i am not saying that it is all men, it is women too. However, the majority of the time Men unconsciously changes the dynamics of certain things or they just do it.

Now i know you are probably saying.. Now wait a sec i had a ex that changed the relationship or i had a female friend that tried to go after me.
Well let me ask you this what did you do that made them want to change the dynamics of the relationship. Ever ask your self that. Ever look in the mirror and say to yourself what did i say or do to change the relationship? yeah that's right i asked it. HELLO!!!! MC FLY.... YOU THERE. Yes i am talking to you.now repeat after me.. WHAT DID I DO TO CHANGE IT?

Now ask your self this... Do I want the change? Will things get better?

Then there is the all time most hated question of all... Will this change make the relationship ceased to exist or will it fade.
In Certain times in our live we pray that they won't fade away or leave us. However, look on the bright side if the person didn't fade away then they were meant to be in your life for a long period.

I know in my life i have had a few good lasting friendships that have lasted over 16 years. As well as a few friendships that lasted for a few months. Everything changes for a reason. Everything happens for a reason.

A statement was made of I hope that there is someone i can be there for... Well have you ever thought that maybe the person sitting next to you on the train needs a little attention or the women who dropped her purse needs help.. You can be there for a reason for them on a daily basis. If we all keep to ourselves in life this world would the fucking boring and no ones need would be met. There is a song that i just love.. yes yes it is country but Reba McIntyre is no dummy when it comes to life itself...Oh did i hear that... I like Country music? Fuckers I live in a state that cowboys and Indians still play! Were Garth brooks comes home and retires for the 7th time.. What do you fucking think... it just can't be helped that the occasional country song reaches out to my heart. Now i am not saying that i like all of it... and do i dress in a cowboy hat and Rockies.. NO FUCK NO! I prefer heels and a hot sexy dress that forms to my body over that any day. Fuck this enough of me.. if you want to know more of me then fucking just ask..

It's called Somebody by Reba McIntyre look it up and read the lyrics whether you like country or not it doesn't matter.. don't listen the music just read the fucking lyrics. It is the Words that make the music not the song itself.

Your intended could be someone that is staring right in front of you and you never even looked, really looked to SEE them! Called it Kismet, Fate, Destiny.. what ever you want to call it.. but it is ever changing!

So will you change a person outlooks on a subject or just their day...but be helpful and fulfilling a temporary need or even a permanent need?


So Tell me.. What ARE YOU going to do with the new change in your life?

So Close yet so far away

Restlessness hits me inside without you here
words, songs and melodies have me missing you more
so close yet so far away...
i have no words that say i need you
no words to say i want you
i am free to be me...

your laugh brings warmth to my heart
your action speak to me of selfishness
you sacrifice yourself for my happiness
you would take all my pain and hurt away

so close yet so far away
i have no words to say but i need you now
i have no other words but i want you now
i am free to be me

wipe the tears which fall
take it away....
my heart beats for you
my mind thinks of you
my body earns for you
take me away...

so close yet so far away

Confliction of my soul...

A conflicted hue of color so rare..
A life to live with one to spare...
You take my soul and let it fly
To sight unknown beyond the sky.

A life with you takes me to heights unknown
to feel the level that is never known.

The Multiplicity in the mirror
Will never be what really is there.
A shadow, A copy of the one you see
never me, never me...

Luring one to stand beside me and at my feet..
A surprise that i never did see
You took my breath then gave my pure air
A life anew is what is left there

In all the leather and all the chains..
You never will confined me
So with my Whip a lash i give..
then a kiss to your sweet lips.


Never my equal but my mate indeed..
Your the one that gave me wings to feel complete.