Advise from one

Another year to add to the many years of life i have already lived. Reflection can be a good thing at times. When i think back on my life i see a long journey of not just me but those around me, that have stuck it out through thick and thin and those who have progressively gotten worse in their lives.

Does the advise we give to our friends and family create a impact of them? what kind? Good or bad. and do we think of these things when we give the advise? Can you look far enough in the future enough to say you know if you do this then this will happen?

No we can't always predict the future of another person, remember the Serenity prayer?
But we can try to watch the patterns of a person and see if the advise is needed or not.
here are two examples of two different women that i have known for a LONG time and the changes that were made in their lives due to my advise:

We will call our first subject K:

K was married to a controlling/verbal abusive man that she had been with since highschool. After many years of watching her being controlled in ever aspect of life right down to her clothes decided that she was done with it all and with my help and advise she left him. In the 6 years that she has been divorced from him, she has turn the tables on him and has been using the crap out of him at the expense of her body and relapses of emotional instability, not a healthy thing. She was heavy into drugs for a while now just takes her normal meds but does smoke and drink while on them. She went in to a so so relationship with a man that progressively became dormant in himself which created stagnant intentions on both parts. AKA LAZINESS!!! Now in order for her to leave her house she has to resort to a glass of wine or her Anti-Anxiety medicine before she even steps out of the house.

Then there is subject #2 we will call her T :
T had a cheating husband that would call her in the middle of the night to let her know that he was not coming home while another women was in his arms. After a while she was fed up with his tactics of cheating and realize she was better without him. However he left her with no self esteem and no confidence to do what she needed in order to get things done. So with a little help I gave her the tools she needed to get back on her feet and fight for what she needed.Now she is doing really good has a new husband who loves her very much and a baby on the way.

So what do theses two women have in common... Divorce! ah yes D-I-V-O-R-C-E!

Yes I know it is common thing these days... but there is more commonality then you think here... 1. both K & T had some form of abuse in the relationship 2. both were meek and both needed confidence and encouragement to get out.

So why did they turn out so different? Well considering that both married directly out of high school and married their high school "sweethearts" the only difference was one endured the marriage longer... SO tell me what went wrong?

IF it isn't obvious to you then let me help you....

It is THE WOMEN! ye that is right in all my bitching and dogging on men i have to say this time it is the women themselves. Due to the fact that one took the time to have fun and get to know who she is as well as gain the confidence in which she lost not to mention her hotness with my help!!!!

Now the other well she partied a little TOO hard and immediately jumped into another relationship and not a healthy one and that...

So now what.. how does a friend go about helping the messed up one... I mean i love her as my friend.. but i am sorry if you show up to my Birthday dinner all anti-anxiety up and drunk before you even get to the dinner... UM something is wrong here! I mean my other friend DON'T Need that stuff to enjoy life!!!!

Another Reason I don't hang out with people who do drugs... ARG!

So back to my original question.. did i do right by these two friends.. did i as a friend impact their lives?

The answer is YES! I did... but everything they did after that was all about them....

Friends can only help you so much.. it is up to you to do the rest..