WAS I JUST EMOTIONAL RAPED?

I wanted to Go back and talk more about Emotional Blackmail and Emotional Rape.. I do not think that people actually think that these things exist.. but the do.. it can be as subtle as a guilt trip or to a extreme as threaten you with your love ones, your life or anything that you deem of worth.
So let me first give you the Definitions:

EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL - is a powerful form of manipulation in which blackmailers who are close to the victim threaten, either directly or indirectly, to punish them to get what they want. They may know the victim's vulnerabilities and their deepest secrets. They can be their parents, partners, bosses or coworkers, friends or lovers. No matter how much the blackmailer cares about the victim, they use this intimate knowledge to win their compliance
EMOTIONAL RAPE- is the theft of someone's higher emotions, such as love, without consent. However, in the case of emotional rape the lack of consent is contained in the fact that the individual is being lied to by the perpetrator.

Now that we have the definitions. Let us now explore the Characteristic of someone who would do these things
Without exception, victims describe two predominant characteristics of their rapists:

1. They are charismatic, attractive personalities, likely to be widely admired.
2) They can completely conceal their true, manipulative, power-seeking natures.


These two observations draw highlight one of the central features of Emotional Rape: it can happen to anyone.

The widely varying backgrounds and personalities of those who have become victims of emotional rapists demonstrate the danger in thinking that "It could never happen to me."
It is sometimes difficult to believe that no moral responsibility rests with the victim - because he or she was weak, naive, or otherwise "to blame" - but that it lies with the rapist, whose ability to conceal his or her true self and to present a false self with the intent of preying on others, is so practiced, so convincing,  that almost anyone could be deceived.

I wonder if you ever thought of your abuser or even a "supposed" friend or even a parent as a "perpetrator". Until recently I didn't think of it either. Till I realized that I can actually create boundaries that will help me to NOT be victimized by these people or by the situation.
What you say a BOUNDARY? What do you mean boundary... what is that?

Well let me explain what a Personal Boundary is.. It is A Boundary you set for your self to ensure that you don't get hurt, to Protect and to take care of ourselves. It is a way to be able to tell other that you don't like what they are doing as well as not acceptable to us.You have to understand and no that we have the RIGHT and the RESPONSIBILITIES as Humans to ensure that others don't take advantage or do things in which makes us uncomfortable.

So in recent events I had a female friend that may or may not have known she was overstepping my personal boundary. Boundaries that I didn't know i could set. That was my problem I didn't take the time out to set. Bad On my part.. But I am learning..

This is the WHOLE reason I am Writing this.. so that people understand that we all have a right to protect ourselves and understand that you can SAY NO!

Now I think i am hearing this... What if when you say no they say or do what they can to get the YES! Well that is when you have to just put up your boundaries more and just let them know that Your answer will be no no matter what they say or do.

There are the extreme Situations of abuse that you just have to get out of and I mean RUN if you can!
Other wise it if simply someone who pulls the lesser of the crime you can learn your boundary of what is acceptable to you. Examples you KNOW I LOVE them!!!

1. If you have a friend and she gets all huffy, as i like to call it going "high school" on you pulling the your not a good enough friend because....
2. and one of my favorties... If you had a choice you should go with so and so cause he would be better suited for you... i am not good enough
3. oh the "I am Not speaking to you cause"
All of these are to get you to do or say what they want to hear or do...

I Honestly don't care what you say or complain about.. When you are PUSHED, or MADE to feel a certain way it is RAPE! have you EVER actually looked up the word?
OH lets shall we!

RAPE- an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation.

Oh... did you see that.. it is an act of Plunder... to take with out permission... DO YOU THINK that it would apply to Emotions too! UM YES!!!! 

I was told once that when some says to you... well you won't do this for me because you don't love me IS consider a form of Emotional RAPE! Why you ask.. well because they are making you FEEL something you don't want to... 

Now let me tell you what i have learned... 

I learned that I can say I don't like how your treating me.. or express my true feelings without feeling like i can't tell someone how i truly feel with out being mean about it.. I think it is all in the Return of the words. The Presentation of how you say it that will help. But you know me i am not as tactful as some are.. so there for i come off harsher then others. 

I have also realized that when i am going through something I know i can talk to someone but generally i get pissy and blow people off... Instead I think i need to let people know that i am going through something and stop letting it steam and boil inside.. in other words... DON'T HOLD IT IN... BUT DON'T YELL about it.. TALK about it... 

So now he have had our education for the day.. I hope that you will all learn something new as well and STOP THE EMOTIONAL RAPE!!!!! WE ARE PEOPLE TOO AND WE MAKE MISTAKES!!!